Strange Days

Reality is like a face reflected in a blade of a knife; its properties depend on the angle from which we view it. - Master Hsing Yun, in Describing the Indescribable

Yes, Yes, Yes!!! We all know that we experience life based on the filter through which we look at things. Meditation helps me see the filters I use and choose to see my life through a different filter, the filter of a truer reality.

I can't tell you how well that quote fits my life today. (It's still Sunday for me.) I'm not sure what to think about this day. It was so very strange.

I was very, very happy today to buy size 16 pants, not 16W, size 16 period. I bought 2 pairs of jeans, and a few other things, all on sale, to hold me until I get to a 14. I was ecstatic!!! I haven't bought clothes in the "normal girls" department in years. But fifteen minutes after I left the store, I got an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. On my way home I was unable to stave off the tears. I started balling uncontrollably. I haven't been sad for months!!! That just isn't how I am. I am normally so happy, peaceful and serene.

I remember hearing that as you lose weight, you sometimes process the emotions you were feeling at the time you were that weight. I remember the last time I felt this loneliness feeling. It was January 1, 2000, and, yes, I was the same size I am now. It was one of the worst days of my life. I won't go into what happened, it is ancient history and I don't want to dredge it up. My heart hurts. I actually feel the physical pain in my chest I felt on that day. But I can't let myself go backward. I have to now work through that pain so it will no longer take up space in my mind and heart. I am looking forward to the feelings of joy I felt when I was smaller! And I'm going to get to a size 14 as quickly as I can! LOL

To help me process these feelings, here is today's haiku.

Lone tree in the field
Animals its only friends
Standing in the sun

I don't want to make this blog post depressing! I hit a milestone and this loneliness feeling is not an obstacle! I didn't have hope and faith on January 1, 2000. I DO now and I know that with the support of my friends I will work through this and my heart won't hurt for very long.

Thanks, my friends, for being here for me! And may your hearts never hurt. I'm off to meditate...

In love and friendship,
Jun-ri

I Can't Believe it's Friday!

Hello All,

I can't believe it's Friday at 12:33 a.m., Saturday morning actually. I feel like I didn't accomplish anything this week. Geez. I hate feeling like this.

I got a massage today and my therapist noticed how much thinner I am. That was good! After she left, I weighed myself and was down another 2 pounds, even in the middle of the day after eating 2 meals. I also tried on four pairs of pants I thought might still be too small and found they are actually too big! Into the charity pile they went. So....today was a good day!

I have been having some personal life issues this week and have been a bit confused, to say the least! It's been occupying my mind somewhat and I haven't been able to focus as well as I can normally focus. To take my mind off "things" I developed some new yoga classes for my students and investigated some new techniques that I can share with them. My meditations have been going pretty well, so I'm happy about that.

I took some new photos of Roscoe for someone who has an animal-related blog and wants to do a special blog on guinea pigs. I am also going to help him with information. I'll post a link when he does his post on piggies.

I haven't written any haikus the last few days, but here is an old one I found.

Prepare for new day
The earth opens her cocoon
Life begins anew

I should take that advice. Tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow morning I'm going to the hot springs!

Cheers,
Jun-ri

Trendy Tuesday

I've had a very, very good day. It started out in Reno this morning with a trip to Walmart and Lane Bryant for some tops. I've lost so much weight I needed to go shopping. I found some good sale prices, which was great! I get to be trendy in tops that fit! YAY!

I've been very busy since I got home this afternoon. I had a nice lunch and client call, then some work. I'm pretty tired. I slept very well last night, and will sleep well again tonight.

I wasn't really inspired to write a haiku so looked at a picture of Buddha that makes me feel serene. I noticed that the breeze this afternoon was serene, so wrote the following haiku. I hope you like it.

So serene the breeze
Wafting through leafless gray limbs
Scent of the damp earth

Yesterday's quote in my Buddhist daily reader was, "Realize that the journey to the center takes place within your own mind," by Matthew Flickstein in his book "Journey to the Center." Great quote, very simple, to the point, and worthy of consideration. I think that introspection is the only way to find out who you are and make joyful and honest your journey of life itself.

Time for meditation and bed. I hope your evening is lovely and your tomorrow even lovelier.

In gassho,
Jun-ri

P.S. Yesterday was the first day of the Canadian seal hunt, a very ugly event. This year it is expected that 250,000+ baby seals will be killed in a most brutal, barbaric way. Sign the petition to help end this heinous practice by checking out www.protectseals.org. Remember that April is Animal Cruelty Prevention month. Learn more by going to the ASPCA's website, www.aspca.org, or click on the banner below.

I'm Back from a Little Trip

Hello All,

I hope all of you are well and happy. I had to go away for a few days for a conference and I'm back from my little trip. I didn't do anything exciting there, so I won't bore you with the details.

I'm feeling a little funky. You know how it is when you go away and eat things you normally wouldn't eat and your normal routine goes out the window. I will feel myself again in just a few days. I got in some nice meditation time and actually did some jogging, which felt really good!

It snowed a little at my house while I was gone. I hope we get at least one more heavy snowstorm before the winter season is completely over. We really need it and I really want it. I doesn't feel like we've had a winter. But the snow and ice is melting from the roof and that's what today's haiku is about.

Warm and sunny day
Ice sheets sliding from the roof
Flowers on their way

I've got loads of stuff to do and work to catch up on. It's Monday and the start of a new week. Time for a new beginning.

Cheers to you all,
Jun-ri

Hello Friends,

Sunsets are absolutely beautiful. Here’s today’s haiku.

Colorful ribbons
Orange purple yellow blue
Bright sun sinking low

I had a great day today. I worked for a few hours before going to the salon. While at the salon, I had a facial and detox body treatment, then had my hair cut and colored, 6 hours of girly stuff. Now I’m completely beat! Tomorrow will be a very busy day! I have to make up for not getting much done today. My trainer is coming over, a friend is coming over to help me do a bunch of work around the house, I'll do some work on the computer and teach a yoga class and a meditation class. Off to bed with me.

Cheers,
Jun-ri

Perfection in Imperfection

Dear Perfect Beings,

Today was a pretty good day, and very busy. I worked out with my trainer, got a manicure, ate lunch out, and talked with someone about an advertising plan for my yoga studio, all before planning, preparing for and teaching a yoga class!

I opened my book of daily Buddhist readings today and read something really great to share. In the book Mindfulness in Plain English, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana writes:

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind with yourself. You may not be perfect, but you are all you’ve got to work with. The process of becoming who you will be begins first with the total acceptance of who you are.

What is wrong with all of us that we think we have to be perfect, and because we aren’t perfect we have no worth? Where is our compassion for ourselves? We are perfect, even in our imperfections. And so is everyone else. We are so impatient, not only with ourselves, but with others. Everything is so fast in our world. Express gratification is around every corner. What do you think would happen if we just slowed down and let ourselves be happy, accepting what is, unconditionally? I can tell you what would happen; we would be happy! Happiness would come from within us, and not from what we perceive will make us happy once we get it. Also, we have to like ourselves to want something better for ourselves.

I was talking to someone the other day who was also from the Phoenix, Arizona area (where I used to live). I lived in Tempe and worked in downtown Phoenix. The bright points of my day were driving to and from work past the Japanese flower farms and their stands on Baseline Road. The flower farms have since been sold, all except one I was told several months ago (it might be sold now). In their place is now a golf course, condos and new housing developments. There were some old citrus trees, as well, where there had been citrus groves. I will never forget the days I had to follow a slow moving tractor, with my windows down, smelling all the beautiful flowers and seeing all the colors. Here is today’s haiku.

Rows of bright flowers
Sweet and fragrant, colorful
My own paradise

Go forth and find your paradise! (And love and accept yourself while you are searching.)

Cheers and blessings,
Jun-ri

P.S. Remember the Animals!

Getting Ready for a New Week

Hello Friends,

The last couple of days you haven’t seen any blogs by me. Sorry if you’ve missed me. I’ve had a few really weird days and today I’m feeling a little exhausted. Friday the 13th was one of the few true Friday the 13th’s I’ve ever had, except for my friend’s surprise 60th birthday party. I won’t get superstitious about future days, though. So, I’m proceeding like they didn’t exist and just going on from today.

I was thinking about walking through the forest on a cold and misty day. It was really windy on Friday night, which normally heralds a storm, but there was no storm. It was supposed to start snowing last night and continue through Monday, but it is 9:00 on Sunday night and it still hasn’t started snowing yet, it rained a little bit today. The forecast still says snow for tonight and snow and rain through Tuesday. I hope it snows a whole bunch! We haven’t had enough of a winter. Anyway, here is today’s haiku.

A chill in the air
Cold morning mists through the trees
Brisk walk brushes skin

I got pretty upset Friday morning. The company I hired to get rid of the mice put down glue traps after I told them glue traps were not acceptable because I didn’t want any of the mice to die. I thought I had thrown them all away and I missed one behind the TV. A baby mouse got stuck on it and I tried so hard to save it, but I couldn’t. I found that cooking oil would get the glue off and I freed one back leg and got the toes all cleaned off, but I guess the stress was too much for the little one and it passed away. I was very upset. I did everything I could, and it was never my intention for any to die, just leave, and they do all have to leave! I got some live traps at the hardware store. None have been caught, yet, but I am confident I will catch the rest of the mice.

I’d best get the end of my tasks for the day completed or it will be too late to do them. I'm getting ready for next week! See below for a special message that I will put on my blogs until the end of April, maybe longer. We'll see how it goes.

Many Blessings,
Jun-ri

The entire month of April is Animal Cruelty Prevention Month. I'd like to help the ASPCA prevent animal cruelty and make sure animal abusers are tried, convicted and punished for their crimes. Don't you? I've pledged to help raise awareness and $1,000 for the cause. (Even $10 would help meet the goal!) If you would like to help, please click the banner below. If you can't help with cash, go to http://www.aspca.org and see all the educational materials on their site. (Scroll down to the resources links on the right side of the home page.) In the section for teachers, there is loads of information, even lesson plans. You don't have to be a teacher, you can use these ideas to teach your own children about how to treat animals. The kids website is great (kids can send in their pet photos for the "Pet of the Week" contest) at http://www.animaland.org.