Hatred and Love

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. - Buddha.

Buddha was a prolific thinker and observer of the human condition and behavior, and he was right on.  He was a kind and compassionate man who probably said little that he didn't mean, speaking mindfully and thoughtfully.  The above is one of my favorite quotes.

As happens to everyone at one time or another, many times over, my mettle was tested this past week.  A tenant of mine moved out on Thursday, 13 days past the time he originally said he would, and twelve days after I re-rented the condo.  It was a monumental mess, much of which was attributable to the fact that the kids, and I mean adult kids, got a puppy that they weren't supposed to get, and that nobody, apparently, taught them how to clean up a house or bacon grease.  I had about 48 hours to clean up the mess and make the place liveable for my new tenant and her children.  At the time I knew it was possible with a great deal of work on the part of my husband and myself.  I would have rather had Valentine's Day on Friday than be cleaning and painting in torn and stained sweats.  We did finish, and my new tenant and her children seemed genuinely happy with their new home.  Whew!  Crisis averted!  (Cue "We Are the Champions" by Queen...)

While I am far from perfect, I feel I have made some progress in my spiritual evolution.  This was evident to me the past few days, in particular.  When you are cleaning and painting alone in a room, you are alone with your thoughts, and I was feeling very thought-filled.  I could easily have backslid into despair and anger.  Instead, every time I thought of my old tenants (only one of which remained in the end) and what a mess the place was, and the money I am owed, I countered these thoughts with those of making the place nice for my new tenants.  I countered hatred with love and it worked!

I am not to the point of actually feeling love for my old tenants, which would be more to the point of the quote, but you have to start somewhere.  Today I am feeling less angry and more neutral.  Progress!  The way we think of "love" isn't going to happen and I don't think it that is really the point.  Even though I still have some anger, I do wish them all well, which is pretty good.  I think Buddha's idea of love for them would be to have compassion and understanding, just nothing negative.  That is something I can do.  Buddha never asked us to "love," live with or even be friends with everyone, but to be compassionate and understanding.  Negative feelings are harmful to our bodies, minds and spirits.

While I was able to counter hatred (though I've never felt "hatred" for them) with love, I still have the need to teach them a lesson.  I am out $1,000 and two days of my life; the physicality of which has put my fibromyalgic body into a quite painful state.  Karma isn't up to me, but maybe teaching them a lesson by lovingly sending a bill and making certain it is paid, legally certain if need be, is actually being compassionate.  If I can help them learn a lesson, it may be taught more gently than another would teach.  Who knows.  They are definitely getting a bill!

It is likely this isn't the only time I have done this, but it is the time in most recent memory.  What if we all learned how to do this?  What would our lives be like?  I think we would be a much happier species.  That was Buddha's greatest desire, to find a way for us as humans to not suffer, and suffering is something humans are very good at!

I believe part of love is understanding.  We don't have enough love OR understanding in our world today, and I am as "guilty" of this as anyone else, though some are more "guilty" than others, for sure.  (Look out, "judgmental me" just jumped out.)  I think we NEED love and understanding if we are to survive ourselves and others.

I often find myself wondering why we aren't more curious about one another.  Other than the fact that many people think they are too busy to think of people and lives other than their own, I think many people are trapped by fear of other people and other ways of thinking.  I think this is at the core of all our world's problems, and is the core of solving all our world's problems.

What if we spoke with one another with the understanding that we aren't the same, and with the belief that we don't have to be.  It seems one human condition is to believe that we are "right," but that shouldn't make it wrong to be "wrong," just different.  Are these thoughts just a broader extension of keeping up with the Joneses?  Is that why we aspire to cookie cutter lives and cookie cutter jobs and cubicles and offices and belongings and etc., and laugh and push away from anyone who doesn't "fit" into society's little mold?  Is this why we are afraid to express our own opinions, or to be ourselves?  How can a person love oneself if one can't openly be oneself?  And who has the mental energy for all that crap????  (I don't.)

Is this why we have such a difficult time loving and accepting ourselves?  As a yoga teacher, and a Buddhist, for that matter, one of our primary jobs is to love and accept ourselves, and to then love and understand, and help, others.  While I am a optimistic person, some may say too optimistic but they are wrong (haha), that isn't what I see in many others, and I feel sorry for those people.  They don't seem to understand that what they think and do to others, they are thinking and doing to themselves.  They don't understand that we are all connected.  What you reap you sow, in thought and word and deed.  That is another one of those eternal rules.

I think I coulld write on this topic forever, but I am going to stop.  I have given myself much to think about, and probably to write about in the future.  Have I given you something to think about?  Tell me in the comments, below of course. ;)

Thanks for reading!