Strange Days

Reality is like a face reflected in a blade of a knife; its properties depend on the angle from which we view it. - Master Hsing Yun, in Describing the Indescribable

Yes, Yes, Yes!!! We all know that we experience life based on the filter through which we look at things. Meditation helps me see the filters I use and choose to see my life through a different filter, the filter of a truer reality.

I can't tell you how well that quote fits my life today. (It's still Sunday for me.) I'm not sure what to think about this day. It was so very strange.

I was very, very happy today to buy size 16 pants, not 16W, size 16 period. I bought 2 pairs of jeans, and a few other things, all on sale, to hold me until I get to a 14. I was ecstatic!!! I haven't bought clothes in the "normal girls" department in years. But fifteen minutes after I left the store, I got an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. On my way home I was unable to stave off the tears. I started balling uncontrollably. I haven't been sad for months!!! That just isn't how I am. I am normally so happy, peaceful and serene.

I remember hearing that as you lose weight, you sometimes process the emotions you were feeling at the time you were that weight. I remember the last time I felt this loneliness feeling. It was January 1, 2000, and, yes, I was the same size I am now. It was one of the worst days of my life. I won't go into what happened, it is ancient history and I don't want to dredge it up. My heart hurts. I actually feel the physical pain in my chest I felt on that day. But I can't let myself go backward. I have to now work through that pain so it will no longer take up space in my mind and heart. I am looking forward to the feelings of joy I felt when I was smaller! And I'm going to get to a size 14 as quickly as I can! LOL

To help me process these feelings, here is today's haiku.

Lone tree in the field
Animals its only friends
Standing in the sun

I don't want to make this blog post depressing! I hit a milestone and this loneliness feeling is not an obstacle! I didn't have hope and faith on January 1, 2000. I DO now and I know that with the support of my friends I will work through this and my heart won't hurt for very long.

Thanks, my friends, for being here for me! And may your hearts never hurt. I'm off to meditate...

In love and friendship,
Jun-ri

I Can't Believe it's Friday!

Hello All,

I can't believe it's Friday at 12:33 a.m., Saturday morning actually. I feel like I didn't accomplish anything this week. Geez. I hate feeling like this.

I got a massage today and my therapist noticed how much thinner I am. That was good! After she left, I weighed myself and was down another 2 pounds, even in the middle of the day after eating 2 meals. I also tried on four pairs of pants I thought might still be too small and found they are actually too big! Into the charity pile they went. So....today was a good day!

I have been having some personal life issues this week and have been a bit confused, to say the least! It's been occupying my mind somewhat and I haven't been able to focus as well as I can normally focus. To take my mind off "things" I developed some new yoga classes for my students and investigated some new techniques that I can share with them. My meditations have been going pretty well, so I'm happy about that.

I took some new photos of Roscoe for someone who has an animal-related blog and wants to do a special blog on guinea pigs. I am also going to help him with information. I'll post a link when he does his post on piggies.

I haven't written any haikus the last few days, but here is an old one I found.

Prepare for new day
The earth opens her cocoon
Life begins anew

I should take that advice. Tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow morning I'm going to the hot springs!

Cheers,
Jun-ri

Trendy Tuesday

I've had a very, very good day. It started out in Reno this morning with a trip to Walmart and Lane Bryant for some tops. I've lost so much weight I needed to go shopping. I found some good sale prices, which was great! I get to be trendy in tops that fit! YAY!

I've been very busy since I got home this afternoon. I had a nice lunch and client call, then some work. I'm pretty tired. I slept very well last night, and will sleep well again tonight.

I wasn't really inspired to write a haiku so looked at a picture of Buddha that makes me feel serene. I noticed that the breeze this afternoon was serene, so wrote the following haiku. I hope you like it.

So serene the breeze
Wafting through leafless gray limbs
Scent of the damp earth

Yesterday's quote in my Buddhist daily reader was, "Realize that the journey to the center takes place within your own mind," by Matthew Flickstein in his book "Journey to the Center." Great quote, very simple, to the point, and worthy of consideration. I think that introspection is the only way to find out who you are and make joyful and honest your journey of life itself.

Time for meditation and bed. I hope your evening is lovely and your tomorrow even lovelier.

In gassho,
Jun-ri

P.S. Yesterday was the first day of the Canadian seal hunt, a very ugly event. This year it is expected that 250,000+ baby seals will be killed in a most brutal, barbaric way. Sign the petition to help end this heinous practice by checking out www.protectseals.org. Remember that April is Animal Cruelty Prevention month. Learn more by going to the ASPCA's website, www.aspca.org, or click on the banner below.

I'm Back from a Little Trip

Hello All,

I hope all of you are well and happy. I had to go away for a few days for a conference and I'm back from my little trip. I didn't do anything exciting there, so I won't bore you with the details.

I'm feeling a little funky. You know how it is when you go away and eat things you normally wouldn't eat and your normal routine goes out the window. I will feel myself again in just a few days. I got in some nice meditation time and actually did some jogging, which felt really good!

It snowed a little at my house while I was gone. I hope we get at least one more heavy snowstorm before the winter season is completely over. We really need it and I really want it. I doesn't feel like we've had a winter. But the snow and ice is melting from the roof and that's what today's haiku is about.

Warm and sunny day
Ice sheets sliding from the roof
Flowers on their way

I've got loads of stuff to do and work to catch up on. It's Monday and the start of a new week. Time for a new beginning.

Cheers to you all,
Jun-ri

Hello Friends,

Sunsets are absolutely beautiful. Here’s today’s haiku.

Colorful ribbons
Orange purple yellow blue
Bright sun sinking low

I had a great day today. I worked for a few hours before going to the salon. While at the salon, I had a facial and detox body treatment, then had my hair cut and colored, 6 hours of girly stuff. Now I’m completely beat! Tomorrow will be a very busy day! I have to make up for not getting much done today. My trainer is coming over, a friend is coming over to help me do a bunch of work around the house, I'll do some work on the computer and teach a yoga class and a meditation class. Off to bed with me.

Cheers,
Jun-ri

Perfection in Imperfection

Dear Perfect Beings,

Today was a pretty good day, and very busy. I worked out with my trainer, got a manicure, ate lunch out, and talked with someone about an advertising plan for my yoga studio, all before planning, preparing for and teaching a yoga class!

I opened my book of daily Buddhist readings today and read something really great to share. In the book Mindfulness in Plain English, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana writes:

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind with yourself. You may not be perfect, but you are all you’ve got to work with. The process of becoming who you will be begins first with the total acceptance of who you are.

What is wrong with all of us that we think we have to be perfect, and because we aren’t perfect we have no worth? Where is our compassion for ourselves? We are perfect, even in our imperfections. And so is everyone else. We are so impatient, not only with ourselves, but with others. Everything is so fast in our world. Express gratification is around every corner. What do you think would happen if we just slowed down and let ourselves be happy, accepting what is, unconditionally? I can tell you what would happen; we would be happy! Happiness would come from within us, and not from what we perceive will make us happy once we get it. Also, we have to like ourselves to want something better for ourselves.

I was talking to someone the other day who was also from the Phoenix, Arizona area (where I used to live). I lived in Tempe and worked in downtown Phoenix. The bright points of my day were driving to and from work past the Japanese flower farms and their stands on Baseline Road. The flower farms have since been sold, all except one I was told several months ago (it might be sold now). In their place is now a golf course, condos and new housing developments. There were some old citrus trees, as well, where there had been citrus groves. I will never forget the days I had to follow a slow moving tractor, with my windows down, smelling all the beautiful flowers and seeing all the colors. Here is today’s haiku.

Rows of bright flowers
Sweet and fragrant, colorful
My own paradise

Go forth and find your paradise! (And love and accept yourself while you are searching.)

Cheers and blessings,
Jun-ri

P.S. Remember the Animals!

Getting Ready for a New Week

Hello Friends,

The last couple of days you haven’t seen any blogs by me. Sorry if you’ve missed me. I’ve had a few really weird days and today I’m feeling a little exhausted. Friday the 13th was one of the few true Friday the 13th’s I’ve ever had, except for my friend’s surprise 60th birthday party. I won’t get superstitious about future days, though. So, I’m proceeding like they didn’t exist and just going on from today.

I was thinking about walking through the forest on a cold and misty day. It was really windy on Friday night, which normally heralds a storm, but there was no storm. It was supposed to start snowing last night and continue through Monday, but it is 9:00 on Sunday night and it still hasn’t started snowing yet, it rained a little bit today. The forecast still says snow for tonight and snow and rain through Tuesday. I hope it snows a whole bunch! We haven’t had enough of a winter. Anyway, here is today’s haiku.

A chill in the air
Cold morning mists through the trees
Brisk walk brushes skin

I got pretty upset Friday morning. The company I hired to get rid of the mice put down glue traps after I told them glue traps were not acceptable because I didn’t want any of the mice to die. I thought I had thrown them all away and I missed one behind the TV. A baby mouse got stuck on it and I tried so hard to save it, but I couldn’t. I found that cooking oil would get the glue off and I freed one back leg and got the toes all cleaned off, but I guess the stress was too much for the little one and it passed away. I was very upset. I did everything I could, and it was never my intention for any to die, just leave, and they do all have to leave! I got some live traps at the hardware store. None have been caught, yet, but I am confident I will catch the rest of the mice.

I’d best get the end of my tasks for the day completed or it will be too late to do them. I'm getting ready for next week! See below for a special message that I will put on my blogs until the end of April, maybe longer. We'll see how it goes.

Many Blessings,
Jun-ri

The entire month of April is Animal Cruelty Prevention Month. I'd like to help the ASPCA prevent animal cruelty and make sure animal abusers are tried, convicted and punished for their crimes. Don't you? I've pledged to help raise awareness and $1,000 for the cause. (Even $10 would help meet the goal!) If you would like to help, please click the banner below. If you can't help with cash, go to http://www.aspca.org and see all the educational materials on their site. (Scroll down to the resources links on the right side of the home page.) In the section for teachers, there is loads of information, even lesson plans. You don't have to be a teacher, you can use these ideas to teach your own children about how to treat animals. The kids website is great (kids can send in their pet photos for the "Pet of the Week" contest) at http://www.animaland.org.

See Others as Just Like Us

Hello Loved Ones,

I was reading in my daily Buddhist meditation book and a quote by Master Baek from his book, Polishing the Diamond, came up.

See everyone as a buddha. This purifies the mind of ignorance and arrogance.

This reminds me of the fact that I blog on four different sites/online communities every day. (I copy and paste most of my blogs from one to another and add a short note relevant to each community.) I have so many friends from each of these communities; we are bound together by common interests. We offer each other kind words of support, inspiration, laughs and friendship on a daily basis. The thing is, out in the concrete land we live in, instead of the online land, it would be unlikely that many of us would be friends. We simply wouldn't "run in the same circles." Because of our common interests, we see each other as buddhas. Yet, if we are to collaborate with each other and make our concrete worlds as peaceful and happy as possible, we need to set our differences aside, purifying our minds of the ignorance of other's beliefs and creeds, and the arrogance that ours is the only "right" way. If we learn about each other and let each other be his or herself, we can work toward common goals. This is not only important on a global scale, but within ourselves, as well. Everything on the outside is a reflection of the inside. If we can see our own selves as buddhas, we can have self-esteem and self-love, thus, inner peace and happiness. This is a good starting place to see others as just like us, then there is no separation/division between us.

A year-round stream runs along two sides of my house. I love to listen to it running, even in the winter when I have to go outside to hear it. In the spring it runs full and loud. I don't even have to open my double-paned windows to hear it! It is a beautiful, natural feature of the land I live on.

Bubbling brook runs sure
Over and around the rocks
Muffled by the snow

I'm going to Zen meditation group tonight. I'm really enjoying it! Yes, it's a little bit of a drive, and the weather here can turn very quickly. Last week it was clear and dry on my way to Carson City, and it was snowy and wet on my way home, but I was settled, peaceful and in no hurry to get home. What a nice way to drive.

I hope all of you are having beautiful days (it is a sunny day here) and that you can connect with those you love sometime today.

In gassho,
Jun-ri

Cockadoddle Don't

Howdy all of you in internet land,

I got up at 8:00 for a 9:00 appointment with my trainer, Norman. EGAD! That was a bit tough. I am still a little fatigued from yesterday, though I was asleep by 11:30. I'm so not a morning person. But, actually, I've gotten up early all week, a good start for a new habit. As long as I get enough sleep, about 9 hours a night, I'll be okay. I'm doing a 90 day meditation challenge with Tricycle magazine, so maybe I can figure a way to get the bedtime hours into a challenge, as well. Hm. I'll have to think on that one!

When Norman got to my house, I told him I hadn't done any cardio time on the Gazelle for a few days, so I did 40 minutes cardio and 20 minutes of strength training while he was here. I noticed that, while I am definitely working out, the movement is getting easier. Norman says I am an athlete now (because of the work/training I've been doing) and that's why I am feeling much more comfortable during movement. It was markedly easier, even though I was working hard. (Hey hey, I'm an athlete! That feels great to say.)

There is a bunch of ice at my doorstep because the icicles above my door have been melting in this nice warm, sunny weather we've been having. The ice slopes down toward the door and, though I keep putting ice melt there, twice I've slipped and fallen face-first into the door. That's what today's haiku is about. Not too exciting, but I haven't yet figured out how to be eloquent, and write something of substance, every day!

Warm wet then freezes
Slippery slippery slide
Wham, into the door

My friend, Michele, came over today and we took everything out of the pantry and noticed more mice poop!!! We put some things back into the pantry, but anything with a cardboard box or in a bag we put into the oven. (I bought some thick plastic containers to put stuff in that I'm going to take care of before I go to bed.) We cleaned up the poop and I went to teach two classes and when I came home, there was more poop! And, the paper had been torn off a can we put into the pantry. I'm going to scream!!!

Today I was reading in one of my Buddhist daily meditation books and found this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh from his book Buddhist Peacework.

Adopting the practice of generosity and loving-friendliness one day a week or once a month or once a year or periodically is not enough. We should practice these virtues throughout our lives in order to help ourselves and others have peace. These practices are not restricted to saints, far and above the hearts and minds of human beings. These practices are the guidelines for peaceful living among ordinary people.

I think that is so true, and not just for Buddhists, but for everyone. Imagine if everyone thought that way. I'm challenging everyone who reads this to smile at someone, generously and with loving-friendliness, at least once every day for a week and see how you feel at the end of the week. I'll just bet you will feel more peaceful. Don't you think?

Time for me to go....

In peace,
Jun-ri

Totally Tuesday

Hello Lovies,

All the events with the mice came down on me today. I was so tired I took a 5 1/2 hour nap. I had lunch with my friend, Melodi, today, which was really great. (We went to Thai Recipe.) I got home from lunch at 2:00 and fell asleep sitting on the loveseat in the living room. I woke up at 7:39 to a darker living room and a very hungry guinea pig watching me with begging eyes. He knew I was there, but I wasn't getting his dinner. He was probably thinking if he looked at me long enough I'd wake up and get him something to eat! LOL

I've been working on getting up earlier, and going to bed earlier, as well. I am a night person, that's for certain. Waking up early has never been easy for me. The problem is, I stay up late and then I can't get up and do the things I want and need to do. So, my plan is to be up by 7:00 and exercise, meditate, then eat and shower, first thing in the morning. That way I can start my day by 9:30 or 10:00. I think that would really help me. That means I have to go to bed by 10:00, 10:30 at the latest. It is 10:26 right now so I've got to get it together and get to bed. I still haven't meditated today. I have to do that before I go to bed.

I wasn't really inspired to write a haiku about the typical nature-related subject. I wrote one about my guinea pig, Roscoe, who I adore and spoil like there's no tomorrow. LOL I hope you like it. :)

My sweet little man
Love and cuddle kiss and squeak
My heart swells with love

Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day, so I'd better get to bed and get ready for it! It starts with my trainer coming over at 9:00, and at 10:00 my friend is coming over to help me put things away in my house. Theeeen, I teach 2 classes tomorrow evening. Whew! Lots to do!

Hugs to you all,
Jun-ri

Monday Monday, So Good to Me...

I love the free and easy feeling of listening to the Mamas and the Papas. LOL I'll be glad when all the mice related activities are finished, and the Mamas and the Papas feeling sets in. WooHoo! I know logically that other circumstances can't dictate my state of mind, but, I tell you, it is sometimes not easy for me to be patient and calm when my home is not in the state I want it to be in.

At 9:00 the cleaners came to disinfect my house. Boy oh boy, did they clean! Everything was taken out of the cupboards and the furniture was moved away from the walls, etc. When everything was put away, it just got stuck in the pantry and on the shelves, and not in the same place it was to start with. The house looks fantastic, though! My friend, Michelle, is coming over on Wednesday. We can put things away properly. I want to keep it looking this way. I really do like it; I just can't find anything.

Roscoe and I could not be in the house while it was being disinfected and cleaned, so we went to see my trainer, got me a manicure, and went to my yoga studio for lunch and a nap, where I also worked on my novel. Roscoe didn't like being away from his cage. I was holding him and he tugged on my shirt. (This is his way of saying he wants to go back to his cage.) Since I didn't put him in his cage, I put him on the floor next to his carrier (he could walk in and out of the carrier-but I put up barriers so he couldn't go too far), he was not happy. To let me know that, he looked at me, walked about 3 feet away from his carrier, pooped on the floor and sauntered slowly into his carrier with his nose in the air! The spoiled, little snot! LOLOLOL

I found the haiku I wrote yesterday at the stoplight. Since I am committed to writing a haiku a day, you get to read two of them. Here is the one I wrote yesterday.

Gray spidery limbs
Elm trees will soon come to life
Sleeping now ‘til Spring

I wrote this haiku tonight after seeing the moon. The actual full moon is tomorrow, but it looks full tonight!

Round orb white and bright
Gray clouds shifting shapes and drift
Glowing granite rocks

I hope you've enjoyed today's haikus. Now I have done everything I've committed to today. It's time for bed!

Many cheers and blessings,
Jun-ri

Late Sunday

Hello Friends,

It is after 1:00 a.m. on Sunday night (a.k.a. Monday morning!). I had a wonderful, wonderful day. It started with breakfast out, and then I went to Temple. I got there early because I assisted during the incense offering today.

I did some shopping this afternoon. I got some new yarn for a lace shawl I'm making and some necessary beauty supplies from Sephora. It was the only exercise I got today. I exercised my card swiping arm with skill and dexterity. LOL

I wrote a beautiful haiku about elm trees, onto a receipt, while I was at a stoplight. I stuffed it into my purse and now I can't find it. I wrote one about mice, that isn't as eloquent, but since I can't find the good one, the mice haiku will have to do tonight.

Little gray beasties
Sorry, but it's time you go
Adios small ones!

And adios to you mis amigos!

Buenas Noches,
Jun-ri

Lazy Saturday???

I don't know why I say "Lazy Saturday." It's funny, it feels lazy, but I haven't been lazy at all. I've been watching TV and working on my laptop on the couch, and my work has been enjoyable. I guess that's why it feels lazy. I've spent seven hours writing book reviews for my new website, www.bookreviewvillage.com, and working on the book I am writing. Soooo, you see, it hasn't been lazy at all, just enjoyable. Why do we sometimes think that enjoying our time is lazy??? Something to think on.

Every time I go outside, the icicles on the eave just past my front doorway drop melting ice onto my head. That is what today's haiku is about.

Icicles dripping
Teardrops fall in the sunlight
Droplets freeze at night

I'm not very verbose anymore today, so will sign off. I guess that's what happens when I write all day before blogging. I hope your Saturday evening is lovely!

Cheers,
Jun-ri

Here Comes the Sun and the Snowflakes

Hello dear ones,

Today a pest company came to smoke mice out of my house. (They trap and release them elsewhere.) Apparently it was quite a day for them and there were too many mice for them to get them all at once. Yep, an infestation. I have traps in my house and they will be checked for the next two days. Yuck. You don't want the details! They will be back for six hours on Monday doing a deep clean to get all the potentially virus infected droppings, etc., taken care of. Roscoe (my guinea pig and baby) rode around with me today while the pest company was at my house. Spending the day away from home is not his favorite activity. His eyes get really wide open while the car is moving. He's a little bit happier when the car isn't moving.

We went to my Friday meditation group at a chiropractor's office today. Roscoe seemed to enjoy the energy. He was looking around and smelling the air when we first got there, but went to sleep once we started meditating. We will be out and about all day Monday when the cleaning crew is at my house. I'm not sure what all we'll do that day, but we'll figure it out. We'll probably go to the yoga studio and do some work.

I wrote a haiku today, as promised. The sun was shining and it was snowing large flakes off and on all day. It is so weird to see the sun and snow at the same time. It is pretty common here, but is still a strange site to see. It will be snowing again soon, and heavier. That is what the haiku is about. Here it is:

Trees are tipped with white
Snowflakes coming through the sun
Heralds more to come

Okay, I'm going to bed now. Thanks for reading my blog! I've received some nice comments from some of you and I really appreciate it.

Cheers and lots of sunshine,
Jun-ri

Another Bright Sunny Day!

Hi Friends,

Today's Buddhist Wisdom from Beliefnet.com was so cool and relates directly to what I learned when I was in Arizona in January for the Yoga for Depression Practitioner training. This is what it said:

If we train our breathing, we can control our emotions--that is, we can cope with the happiness and pain in our lives. We should practice until we feel this; our practice is not complete until we can see this clearly. -Buddhadasa Bhikkhu, "Mindfulness with Breathing"

Pure truth is what that is! I'm mean, really. Have you ever noticed how you breathe when you are anxious? Your breath is shallow and quick. If you breathe shallow and quick on purpose, you can make yourself feel anxious. Try it if you don't believe me!

Today's haiku is about that fact that today is a beautiful, sunny day in snowland. I went out to my car to get the recycle containers I'd left in there the other day. They were so warm they radiated warmth for several minutes! It was so comforting to feel.

A bright sunny day
The feel of summer, yet not
So warm to the touch

Today's Tricycle Daily Dharma was also very good. It was a quote from Pema Chodron's book "Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings" (Shambala Publications, 2002). It was about how you make your own heaven or hell. It was a story about a samurai who, just before he was to cut off a Zen Master's head, realized at that moment he was in hell. "Instantly, the samurai understands that he has created his own hell—black and hot, filled with hatred, self-protection, anger, and resentment. He sees that he was so deep in hell that he was ready to kill someone." He was in heaven when, "Tears fill his eyes as he puts his palms together to bow in gratitude for this insight." Obviously, he didn't cut off the Zen Master's head.

I think we can all remember a time when we felt both those states of mind.

Those are my ramblings for today. Tomorrow won't be so Buddhist-oriented for those of you who aren't "into that." But, it was what was on my mind. Tonight I will go to my Zen meditation and study group in Carson City. I'm looking forward to it, especially since I wasn't able to make it last week.

Have a fantastic day and check back tomorrow for more ramblings.....ramble ramble.....

Re-Instituting an Old Habit

Hello All,

I used to do the mental exercise of writing a haiku a day, but stopped doing it, for some reason. (Plus, I misplaced the really cool journal I wrote them in!) I was thinking I'd start doing that again and a great time to do it would be after my morning meditation. I also thought that doing a blog post every day with my haiku would be a good way to keep me accountable and share something with others. So.....enjoy today's haiku.

Crystals form prisms
Under the bright sunlight gleams
New snow so pristine

As you might guess, there is snow where I live. Actually, there is lots of it! (I am on the north shore of Lake Tahoe.) Today was very sunny and when the sun shines on an expanse of new snow, it is like someone threw buckets of multi-colored glitter as far as the eye can see. It is so beautiful I could look at it for hours.

Everything is going well with me. I'm feeling pretty good and have been exercising a great deal. It's been working; I've gotten into some smaller clothes. I love shopping in my closet!

I've started a new website for book reviews. Please see the submission guidelines page and send me some reviews! None are posted right now, but by the middle of next week there should be some ready to view. The site is at http://www.bookreviewvillage.com. Let me know what you think! My friend, Bruce, is a web designer and has been working on this new website, as well as my Awareness Village site. He's really good! Check out his web design site by clicking here. (He's also a great photographer and sells his work online and in galleries/art shows in the Reno area. Check out his photos by clicking here.)

It's been great chatting with you! Have a wonderful evening and I'll "see" you all tomorrow.

In gassho,
Jun-ri

P.S. This is me in December 2008 with Roscoe, my little piggie. He turned 3 years old in December, 2008, and still acts like a little pup (that's what baby guinea pigs are called).



This is me last week. I had to go to an awards luncheon to accept a grant I'd applied for (for my job at the non-profit). My dimples are coming back!